I've had a number of fine moments in my life. Moments I'll always remember, even if only in passing glimpses once the dementia of old age sets in. Moments like when I balled throughout my entire wedding ceremony. How unexpected, yet so sentimental and touching. Or gross. Probably have to go with gross. And not cool. Definitely not sunshade-lemonade cool. Seriously, no guy in the history of weddings has wept that much. If someone else had Tolstoy would have wrote about him. I'm just lucky Tolstoy is dead and buried or I'd have ended up in his stories as the guy who weeps before maidens. My end would not have been a pretty one. No. Probably would have left me with a belly full of grapeshot on some forgotten battlefield, weeping. Weeping like I, and I alone, had wept on my wedding day.
The one moment that tops all the rest, even that of running my tear ducts dry, is the one of becoming a father. When my son came into this world I experienced a joy to compete with, and surpass, any other memory. I knew my life had changed when I cut that umbilical cord.
Fatherhood has it's unique hard-to-forget moments. Like the first time he peed on us. He was two days old and we forgot the purpose of a diaper. We remembered after everything within five feet was soaked. Or the one and only time he actually latched on to me. But I've found being a father is wrapped up in the routine things we do everyday.
Carrying him on my shoulders during our daily walks, encouraging him to "get 'me up" after a little stumble, and asking him daily what we're going to eat for lunch, wishing I had the culinary skills of his mother, and finally settling on veggie chips, leftover chicken, apple slices that will be thrown on the ground, and some freshly mixed pudding afterwards. Fatherhood is in the times he crawls up in my lap and falls asleep.
I hope as he grows older his experiences will allow him to trust me so explicitly.
Happy Father's Day to all you daddies out there. And Happy Father's Day especially to my daddy. The guy who gave me a roadmap for what it means to be a father, and showed me through his actions that the little moments are some of the most important moments.
