Failing is hard. Writing about failures has its difficulties, as well.
Most people do their best to put on the adornments of perfection. Not to say all people have their noses up in the air, but generally the public face is the one of "the best foot forward." Who wants to let their friends and colleagues down? Who wants to drop the hopes and aspirations of their family? No one who values their relationships at least as much as they value themselves.
This week, I can't help but feel like I let many people down. I was being recruited for what felt like a perfectly suited position for myself. The opportunity promised to lead to a worthwhile career at a company that is passionate about their clients and their staff. It's seemed to be the kind of place I've wanted to be a part of for a very long time.
After completing 75% of the interview process I fell flat on my face. There's no excuse for myself. I should have been able to ace the whiteboard session. I should have been more relaxed during the interview. It's easy to think back and say I should have been a lot of things. But surely, after a week of dedicated study for this interview alone I should have been able.
In my lifetime, experience has often been the best teacher. In this scenario there's little difference. Experience again will teach me best practices and be my guide in similar situations encountered in the future. In the meantime, I've let my support team down. Welcome to being human. It's hard, dirty and painful, but we do the best can with tools at our disposal and work every day to do better.